Mild Improvement?

First of all, I would like to say that I haven't purged at all this week so far, and it is currently Thursday. I have had what I can refer to as mini-binges, where I start bingeing and am interrupted, but I have not made myself sick. That said, I came very close to this morning, and would have if I hadn't taken my contraceptive pill and multivitamin just half an hour before. Not purging after a binge is slightly preferable to risking pregnancy.

My boyfriend got very upset last night when he found out about my stash of appetite suppressants. I ended up quite upset myself, but I tried to talk a bit about it and reassure him. I was angry, because he was acting very cold towards me, but he told me it's just because he was unhappy that it was happening to me.

I woke up this morning and felt like it would be a terrible day. I was furious with my flatmates, because we have an inspection on Monday morning, and the flat has to be spotless or we can get fined. None of them had any intention of cleaning or even tidying. This is their general attitude towards housework, and I hate them for it. Anyway, this anger and frustration triggered my breakfast binge; something very very uncommon. I got everything prepared to purge, but couldn't because of the pill. It's quite scary knowing that I would have ruined all of my hard wrk this week if it wasn't for that.

I had no hope for the day. I went to my first lecture and couldn't focus. I ate a pretty good lunch. I had carrot and cucumber sticks (both supposedly negative calorie foods, as in digesting them burns more calories than they contain) and some oatcakes, with coffee. My hunger was actually satisfied. My boyfriend had some time to kill before my tutorial so we met up for about 20 minutes, which cheered me up. My last lecture of the day was great, so it's not been a bad day so far.

I'm hoping to have a decent dinner tonight. Pasta bolognese. I'm also drinking more coffee, as it is very good at reducing the chances of me bingeing, however I know the caffeine will not do my anxiety levels any good.

The bin in the kitchen is full. My flatmates will most likely continue to pile things on top of it. I'd better empty it when the rain stops; nobody else will.