Thank You For Your Pity

And I feel it creeping back.

The periods of derealisation are cropping up from time to time, and the overwhelming feeling of emptiness is falling back into place. Sudden bursts of sadness and crying, impossible to overcome. Oh God.

I am so worried. My boyfriend will have noticed and I don't want to scare him off. I am afraid that I will fall back into bad eating habits or self-harm. I am going to try to keep a hold on things, to stop them spinning out of control until I get an appointment at the sexual assault/psychology place.

I got a letter saying I'm at the top of the waiting list, so I should get an appointment soon.

Talking of waiting lists, I'm at the top of the list to get my light fixed. It has been broken for nearly two weeks now. I'm not impressed. I am currently sat in this gloomy room, barely illuminated by a small lamp and the light from my laptop. Ah well.

Last week was so busy, and I have no idea how it passed so quickly. I had so much reading to do and saw so many people, and I started preparing things for my big literature essay. I have a small one to do just now, I have an outline and ideas and everything but no words to string them together with.

I would like a real rest. For everything to just stop so I can look around and get my bearings.