Failing

I binged and purged this morning. I went to the supermarket with the intention of just buying something decent for breakfast and came home and stuffed my face with pasta and pizza. I didn't chew properly or drink enough with it, so now after purging my throat is very sore. The worst part is I don't really regret it.

I have some diet pills that are meant to be arriving soon. I hope they hurry up because they cut appetite and they could prevent more binges. It's not weight loss I want, I just don't want to gain weight. The thought terrifies me. 

I have to cancel my appointment with the psychologist tomorrow to go to my job interview, but I still have the psychiatrist on thursday, to talk about how I was on sleep medication for a while. I'm considering mentioning my mood swings, as nothing happens with the psychologist. I don't think I'll mention the eating problems though. The last thing I need is them jumping to the conclusion I have an eating disorder again.