Things have gotten so much worse. The only thing stopping me killing myself is how much it would hurt my family and boyfriend.
As it is I'm already trying to make sure my boyfriend has something else to help him cope with things in case I do. I'm not sure if this is me trying to help him or just me trying to find a way to do it.
I'm so scared it's not going to matter though. Plans are going through my head of how to make it look accidental. If the psychiatrist can't help me on Thursday I don't know what I'll do.
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