Fat

My boyfriend's noticed I've lost more weight. He doesn't know what to say about my eating problems so when I mentioned I was happy that I'm thinner he said "it's pretty cool". I know that's not what he's really thinking but it sticks in my mind and motivates me.

I spent a while earlier looking an eating disorder help stuff, and articles on people being too thin. Usually this would be enough to change my eating habits, at least temporarily until it reverts back to bingeing and purging. It did nothing to me. I'm stronger than I have been before.

I don't want to be ill. I don't want to lose my hourglass figure. I don't want to let this tear me apart again.

But I want to be thin, and somehow that's all that matters.