I saw the psychiatrist yesterday. I was very nervous but she was really nice. I explained how I was feeling about my mood swings and whatnot and she agreed that although they change very fast, it does sound like bipolar. It was a relief to hear that, even though being told there's something wrong like that is never too great, because the more I can understand what the problem is the more I can do towards fixing it. I know it doesn't make sense, so I'll try to use an analogy. It's like someone wanted you to draw this strange, abstract picture, and didn't tell you anything about what it was supposed to look like. Yet they expected you to draw what they pictured in their mind. Me being told what the problem is with me is like that person giving you clues as to what the picture should look like.
I told my parents what all happened, and they took their usual "you're a silly girl making a fuss over nothing" approach. I was given a lecture on how everyone's mood goes up and down but not everyone gets labelled bipolar. Then my stepmum started saying I had to get my blood tested for bipolar disorder chemicals or something. I was thoroughly confused. They're never supportive when it comes to stuff like this. I think they're just worried and think that by constantly denying there's a problem they can make it not exist. It doesn't help me though. It makes things so much harder for me. I wish I could put them in my mind for a moment and let them feel what it is I go through. To finally have the courage to tell them something's wrong only to have it dismissed as attention-seeking really hurts.
Still, the good news is that I'm seeing the psychiatrist next week, and by then she'll have had a look over my file and have a better idea how to help. Also she's going to find out a bit of information about my stay in a psych ward, so that I can be told what the grounds were for my admission, what was actually wrong with me, and why they thought it went away. It feels really nice now, knowing that there's someone who's trying something different and is working to help me. Despite my horribly low mood I feel that there's a chance for me to sort things out now.
2 comments:
This is totally Kiska from the Asylum forums.
My family did the same thing. I told my dad that my therapist thinks I'm bipolar and he said "No Kiska, you're not. My sister and I both think you're depressed with ADHD." When I told my sister, her response was "Kiska, if you were bipolar, whenever you enter a state of mania, you'd have sex with EVERYONE and spend ALL your money because you'd be convinced you'd win lotto the next day." Yeahhhh. =/
The way I see it, I don't think anyone has the right to diagnose you aside from your therapist or psychiatrist. People will try to diagnose you throughout your whole life, but their diagnoses will be based upon how they see you. At least you can be perfectly open and honest with your psychiatrist - it's a one way relationship.
Don't let your family get you down <3 (Also, chemicals in your blood for bipolar disorder? Wtf? xDDD )
Thanks. Yeah, I think my stepmum must be a bit confused :P
Post a Comment